Real African

I really cant take this anymore, i think and think and think but never get any answers that i need.
Am so angry ryt now that that i dont know what to do,
am trying to be patience and see what happens, but the way i feel aint the same so far,
am very curious, thinking alot makes me crazy that i wanna fight, kill someone or feel pain, just let someone beat the hell of me dont care..
I dont care anymore, i know that i need help from my closest people that understand me and that have known me for many yrs, people that i trust with all of me, people that care and love me 4 who i am,
they know when something is seriously not ryt with me,
they know when something is wrong about me,
they know when i have changed
they know when i need them cuz i dont need to say anything but they will know what to say to me.
plz lord, help me if this is the ryt thing or the wrong thing cuz so far i dont know what to think anymore
thinking makes me crazy, i aint gonna change. this is me lloyd and i will be like this, like it or not, learn to deal with it, 
plz lord help me, am so angry ryt now that i cant think clearly,
what should i do 2 survive, thinking cant help me now :(
I dont know any more whats ryt or wrong or maybe am going blind..