Real African

Am mad and scared with life,
why am that its cuz i dont know whats comin tommorrow or
if am gonna wake whenever i go to bed,
 sometimes i have to pray to God inorder to be safe. to send some guardian Angels
I have alot of question like why is life unafair, why is God letting me surfer, why is all this happening.
My grandma, my dad in the same yr gone away the past two yrs,
 yesterday, My sis Harriet Gone. R.I.P love you
I cant stop thinkin why God is letting me have all this much pain and
i wonder if am strong enough.
Cant stop thinkin about them, missing them and thinkin
sometimes crying too !
and the more i think the more i get mad and sad
 and feel alot of pain in my body and wonder, what am i mad at even, God, Life, myslef or me missing them!
the diffucult nights that i cant sleep makes me cry whenever i miss my beloved ones.
SERIOUSLY am deadly scared, but i dont know what it will take for Me to be strong, I will try and be that.
we all know God is good but why is he letting all this pain and death happen to our loved ones expecially to the innocent ones. 
its not easy not to think about life thoe !
R.I.P Harriet <3